Facebook: When the Invited Guests Bring a Soapbox
Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 8:04PM 
I KNOW THE EVENTS IN MASSACHUSETTS yesterday were significant. And I know that that was good news for some and bad news for others. I also know we come to Facebook not only with the hope of relaxing and reconnecting, but also with the understanding that we will occasionally disagree with a friend’s point of view, find a friend’s joke unfunny, or simply be disinterested in a friend’s post. So we shake our heads to ourselves, chuckle or don’t, and move on without reading. Part of living in a civil society is extending polite accommodations that accept minor differences without animosity.
The past couple of days I’ve been inundated with intensely political Facebook posts that either assume I agree with them or don’t care if I don’t — which is thoughtless at best and callous at worst. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. Depending on the news of the day or the events in someone’s personal life, we’ve all seen spikes of this sort of thing on our walls. This time it was political. Another time it might have been religious. Yet another time, cultural, racial, sexual, who knows. I like all of my friends. I respect their many, many differences. And I’m happy to entertain a point of view other than my own. But when occasional sharing turns into tedious proselytizing, it ceases to be an exchange of ideas and instead becomes a sort of intellectual harassment. (See wish No. 8 in this previous post.)
Daily life is vexatious enough in its non-social media form. To login to a page of repeatedly self-satisfied (or conversely, apoplectic) political posts is as unwelcome as opening the door to your home only to be greeted by someone shouting on a soap box where your coffee table used to be. The particular soap boxes I’ve been tripping over the past couple of days have belonged to a variety of friends and I’ve finally decided to stand on one of my own.
To say of yesterday’s outcome, “Americans want this, Americans sent a message, Americans are taking their country back,” is simplistic, divisive, disrespectful and offensive. No one ideological group has the right to claim the nation’s identity as its own. “Americans” are not of a single mind. There may be times when my beliefs and values align with President Obama’s (I am a supporter — in general, but not always ) but he does not speak for me or for all Americans. Who knows, I might even agree with Scott Brown on something, but he does not speak for me or for all Americans. And, though friends we may be, neither do you.
If I’ve friended you on Facebook, you’re welcome to stop by and chat, but if you bring your soapbox, I may — for the very first time — begin “unfriending” so I can get back to unwinding.
© 2010 John Armato
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Reader Comments (4)
Amen. @JessicaKnows shared this post with her Twitter followers, and I was intrigued by it. I have similar FB friends. My solution has been to just ignore them - and make a mental note of their political affiliation and fervent opinions for avoiding riotous discussions in the future. Call it avoiding conflict if you will, but I just figure it's not even worth the intelligent discussion if they're so extreme to scream their political POV to their hundreds of friends (many of whom they have not even spoken to since high school). Since when have politics become a part of polite conversation? ;) On a related note, I get plenty of religious decrees, as well, spouted through FB...
Kathleen -- Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a note. (And Thanks to Jessica for sharing!) I'm the king of conflict avoidance, so I understand completely. Thanks also for the Twitter follow. I've reciprocated. Glad to be connected :-)
Best,
John
Hi John!
I also followed @JessicaKnows tweet of the URL over here and boy, do I sympathize. I actually did unfriend someone who came in and started blasting at me, and other friends, when I wrote a post regarding the reasons why I believe health care reform is necessary. She said a number of unbelievably rude things, not the least of which was calling me a socialist (because I asked her to please refrain from posting inflammatory comments on my profile page). Her views are radically different from mine and I just couldn't take it in my personal space and on my page.
I also had a friend unfollow me after I pointed out that not all of the people on our LABRADOR RETRIEVER list-serv agreed with her political views and that it would be more polite to a) not assume that we all did or b) tell those of us who don't that we're stupid/naive/gullible. I hate that we can't be friends because of our different views of the world, but man, some people take this stuff very seriously.
Great ideas here!
Hi Beth! It gets uncomfortable sometimes, doesn't it? Because we share one interest with someone, it's easy to assume we have everything else in common, but boy, that's a trap! Thanks for visiting my blog and especially for leaving a comment. Glad to have you here.
Best,
John